My dear friend Jan whom I’ve written about in prior entries here and here visited me this past weekend. We met during our freshman year of college and have been close friends ever since. In 1971, Jan transferred to another college for the remainder of her education. I frequently visited her there and became friends with many of her new friends. One woman in particular named Deb was especially fun to be with and very smart. I would spend time with her whenever I came to visit Jan. Although we have kept up with each others’ lives through Jan, I hadn’t seen Deb in probably thirty years. Coincidentally, Deb ended up being in town at the same time as Jan and the three of us had a reunion this past weekend.

Our time together was magical! It was as if no time had passed and yet we each had become older and wiser. It is not a given that aging will create wisdom. However, we each share values of self-discovery, honest inquiry and spirituality all of which can spark wisdom. Our values have held constant over these past three decades and have nurtured us through both our good and our hard times. It was as if we were magically transported back in time to our younger selves and yet able to call on our current wisdom to both question and validate our earlier experiences. For me, there was a quality of time travel. Although I knew that we were all here in my living room in 2009, images and feelings from 1971 combined with retroactive “aha’s” in the present.

After reminiscing about our shared past and catching each other up on the latest happenings in our lives, we spoke about what was important to us. As  I look back on our day long series of conversations, I realize that each conversation was about being in relationship. We spoke of our relationships with our partners, families, friends, colleagues and other significant people in our lives. Our feminine energy naturally focused on our relationships with others and with each other. Our conversations nurtured us, each woman mindful to take the time and space she needed to speak and give the necessary time and space to the others to add their own voices and stories. We wove our web of connection around each other gently yet with great intention for each of us believes very deeply in the power of conscious relationships to elicit joy and growth.

All three of us practice somewhat different spiritual traditions and yet we spoke a shared language that was inclusive and contained space for wonder and unity. We spoke to each other with both sides of our brains and our hearts continued to open to each other. To me this is the opportunity of reunion. We first experience an inner reunion of heart and mind which connects us to our deepest selves and then to the others with whom we have chosen to meet again. Our visit was healing despite the fact that I was not specifically in need of a healing. The visit was enlivening and inspiring mirroring the co-creative spirit we each brought to our connection. And as always, it was fun! When I remember my visits with Deb and Jan they were always filled with laughter no matter how much young adult angst we were suffering at any given moment.

Three thousand miles away in New York, it sounds like many of my high school cohort were also experiencing the joy of reconnecting and seeing the formerly young faces peeking out out of the current older versions of their friends and acquaintances. Classmates who knew each other well 40 years ago hugged each other with gusto. Classmates who previously were shy were embraced in warm welcome. Given all the happy and heartfelt reports on facebook in the past couple of days, it seems as if there’s definitely a yearning for continued relationship and connection. I will definitely attend our next gathering.

Reunions are wonderful opportunities to notice changes, celebrate accomplishments and grieve losses. Reunions can also be bittersweet not only because we can be disappointed by others (or ourselves) but because they are always blatant reminders of the passage of time. However, if my experience of my reunion with Deb and Jan this weekend is any indication, you can also create a space in the present that is timeless. Granted, most high school reunions don’t allow a lot of time or space to deeply connect with others. Yet, if you are intent on creating a profound experience of reunion and connection it takes only one moment of consciousness to recognize yourself in another and another person in you.

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I have been thinking a lot about greed these days. In a culture that prizes things over people, it is not surprising that greed is running rampant. However, like Buddhism’s Hungry Ghosts who are filled with unquenchable hunger and whose tiny necks are too small to let any nourishment into their huge stomachs, our greed precludes satiation. Like the junk food we mindlessly eat all day, the food that arrives in our bellies leaves us malnourished and craving more.

Greed is seductive, beckoning you into “the safe”, it then locks the door leaving you with no strategy or nor way to exit without help from someone else. The person whom greed hurts the most is you (or me when I am in its thrall). It separates us from others and diverts us from our own desire for true happiness.

One powerful antidote to greed is curiosity. What am I hungry for? What is it that I most crave in the moment? How much money do I really need to be happy right now? Will a million dollars open my heart or I am just chasing after a seductive illusion? How satisfying is it to cuddle with my money or material things rather than another human being?

This post is not a diatribe against wealth or materialism. It’s a plea for consciousness and for being aware of our own impact. We are all greedy at times. Greedy people are not mean (although we can be) or stupid (although some are). Mostly we are stuporous. We are unaware of the cause of our starvation and insensitive to the needs of others. Material wealth is neither inherently good or evil. It’s what we do with it and whether we equitably distribute it. When a select few hoard the majority of resources for themselves, I believe that we all have to rethink our priorities. Each one of us needs to wake up and see how far we’ve crawled into the safe. Otherwise, what looks like safety will be a one way ticket to our own black hole with no one else to rescue us.

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Ten and a half years ago I was diagnosed with a very lethal form of cancer. Because ovarian cancer is particularly hard to detect in its early stages most women die of this disease. I was lucky to have experienced several particularly searing pains that allowed the cancer to be treated relatively early in its development.

During my treatment, I decided that there was no point in having a tragedy if I couldn’t make it work for me. To that end, I used this brush with death as a personal growth experience. Then I decided that there was no point in having cancer if I couldn’t help other newly diagnosed people to successfully navigate their treatment decisions and outcomes. Finally, I decided that there was no point in having cancer, if I couldn’t use it to support my coaching business.

In that moment, I had an inspired idea. A golden moment, if you will. I realized that every moment presented a unique opportunity. The moment I was diagnosed with cancer, my attention was on that first syllable of “diagnosis” – die! Actually, the next several days were focused on that scenario. However, another moment soon arose when I saw a different scenario. I would live and live like I had never had lived before. Each moment suddenly mattered. Each moment represented an opportunity to connect, to grow, to savor life in all of its fullness.

Thus I started developing The Opportunity Game. Regardless of whether the moment is filled with adversity or riches, it abounds in opportunity for us all. I realized that my response to cancer was not just a matter of good medicine and luck. I was thriving in a way that I hadn’t before cancer opened me to all the possibilities of life. Through my travails I learned how to nurture my resilience, creativity and community. If I could learn to thrive under life and death circumstances, I could assist others to learn as well. Even better, I realized that one didn’t have to be dying to be fully alive. We just have to remember to step into reality and say yes to the present moment.

For many, cancer is a death sentence. For me it was a golden moment and a birth of a beautiful business opportunity. The path has not always been clear or easy. In the process I lost my hearing, was unable to work for a year while I was deaf and I have had to have two surgeries to restore my hearing via cochlear implants. The Opportunity Game was born in adversity and is nurtured to fullness by my values of connection, personal growth and service to humanity. It is an alchemical process that turns our mettle into gold. Come join me in playing The Opportunity Game!

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