My dear friend Jan whom I’ve written about in prior entries here and here visited me this past weekend. We met during our freshman year of college and have been close friends ever since. In 1971, Jan transferred to another college for the remainder of her education. I frequently visited her there and became friends with many of her new friends. One woman in particular named Deb was especially fun to be with and very smart. I would spend time with her whenever I came to visit Jan. Although we have kept up with each others’ lives through Jan, I hadn’t seen Deb in probably thirty years. Coincidentally, Deb ended up being in town at the same time as Jan and the three of us had a reunion this past weekend.

Our time together was magical! It was as if no time had passed and yet we each had become older and wiser. It is not a given that aging will create wisdom. However, we each share values of self-discovery, honest inquiry and spirituality all of which can spark wisdom. Our values have held constant over these past three decades and have nurtured us through both our good and our hard times. It was as if we were magically transported back in time to our younger selves and yet able to call on our current wisdom to both question and validate our earlier experiences. For me, there was a quality of time travel. Although I knew that we were all here in my living room in 2009, images and feelings from 1971 combined with retroactive “aha’s” in the present.

After reminiscing about our shared past and catching each other up on the latest happenings in our lives, we spoke about what was important to us. As  I look back on our day long series of conversations, I realize that each conversation was about being in relationship. We spoke of our relationships with our partners, families, friends, colleagues and other significant people in our lives. Our feminine energy naturally focused on our relationships with others and with each other. Our conversations nurtured us, each woman mindful to take the time and space she needed to speak and give the necessary time and space to the others to add their own voices and stories. We wove our web of connection around each other gently yet with great intention for each of us believes very deeply in the power of conscious relationships to elicit joy and growth.

All three of us practice somewhat different spiritual traditions and yet we spoke a shared language that was inclusive and contained space for wonder and unity. We spoke to each other with both sides of our brains and our hearts continued to open to each other. To me this is the opportunity of reunion. We first experience an inner reunion of heart and mind which connects us to our deepest selves and then to the others with whom we have chosen to meet again. Our visit was healing despite the fact that I was not specifically in need of a healing. The visit was enlivening and inspiring mirroring the co-creative spirit we each brought to our connection. And as always, it was fun! When I remember my visits with Deb and Jan they were always filled with laughter no matter how much young adult angst we were suffering at any given moment.

Three thousand miles away in New York, it sounds like many of my high school cohort were also experiencing the joy of reconnecting and seeing the formerly young faces peeking out out of the current older versions of their friends and acquaintances. Classmates who knew each other well 40 years ago hugged each other with gusto. Classmates who previously were shy were embraced in warm welcome. Given all the happy and heartfelt reports on facebook in the past couple of days, it seems as if there’s definitely a yearning for continued relationship and connection. I will definitely attend our next gathering.

Reunions are wonderful opportunities to notice changes, celebrate accomplishments and grieve losses. Reunions can also be bittersweet not only because we can be disappointed by others (or ourselves) but because they are always blatant reminders of the passage of time. However, if my experience of my reunion with Deb and Jan this weekend is any indication, you can also create a space in the present that is timeless. Granted, most high school reunions don’t allow a lot of time or space to deeply connect with others. Yet, if you are intent on creating a profound experience of reunion and connection it takes only one moment of consciousness to recognize yourself in another and another person in you.

More »