Gretchen Rubin posts many interesting suggestions and queries on her blog, “The Happiness Project”. I came across this question today: Do you make the mistake of describing a task as “easy” or “no big deal”? She points out that research shows that people persevere longer when told something is difficult than when they think it should be easy. Being the optimistic person that Gretchen is she has often told herself and others that something is easy in order to be encouraging when in fact, the task is difficult. While motivated from the best of intentions, this behavior can have the exact opposite effect.
Reading this, it reminded me of the importance of honesty. When we negate another person’s experience in favor of our own or our own wished for experience, it creates a disconnect and a loss of trust in the relationship. Ultimately, negating another person’s experience creates more work for both us and the people we negate. At the very least, we must repair the trust lost in the relationship if we intend for the relationship to continue. A more difficult task is to help the other person rebuild their trust in their own experience. Read the rest of this entry »
Sometimes golden moments exist in the midst of trial and tribulation and sometimes they arise in the midst of success and joy. In my experience, the most golden moments are those when life has thrown me lemons and I’ve squeezed all the juice out of them that I can. For me, to share that juice with others, it just doesn’t get any better than that!
Ten and a half years ago I was diagnosed with a very lethal form of cancer. Because ovarian cancer is particularly hard to detect in its early stages most women die of this disease. I was lucky to have experienced several particularly searing pains that allowed the cancer to be treated relatively early in its development.
During my treatment, I decided that there was no point in having a tragedy if I couldn’t make it work for me. Read the rest of this entry »
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