Nerenberg is interested in the study of stupidity and its causes so that we may choose another route and pursue wisdom instead. For all the studies on intelligence and wisdom, according to Nerenberg the study of stupidity is quite paltry in comparison. Is stupidity so stupefying that even the best minds find it beyond their capability to study? Or are we so arrogant as to consider human stupidity unworthy of our serious study? Either way, we have proven over the millennia that human stupidity is recurrent and seemingly boundless. It is neither a laughing matter nor is “Stupid!” merely an epithet to hurl at someone with whom we disagree. I’m sure that each one of us can admirably demonstrate stupidity in our own lives.

In the 1970′s Carlo M. Cipolla circulated an essay, The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity. In 1987, The Whole Earth Review republished the essay with pictures and titled it The Fundamental Laws of Human Stupidity. Due to copyright rules I cannot reproduce this article but it is easily located via google and the specific laws are listed in the wikipedia link that I have provided for Dr. Cipolla. That said, Cipolla’s definition of a stupid person is of interest. “A person is stupid if they cause damage to another person or group of people without experiencing personal gain, or even worse causing damage to themselves in the process.” Why are we consistently willing to do damage to ourselves and others?

Although I don’t think that I have THE answer, I do have one possible answer. It is a matter of lack of awareness and fear. So many times I have done stupid things by not paying attention. For example, by forgetting to a pay a bill on time, I have had to pay an extra fee to compensate for my tardiness. Not only have I made the person who provided me a service wait for their reimbursement, I have unnecessarily paid extra. This is a small example of stupidity. A much larger example of stupidity is that for a long time I was in denial about our environment. I drove unnecessarily and didn’t think much about sustainability. I told myself that the impact of my actions was minuscule and couldn’t possibly make a difference. However, I recently realized that if large numbers of people felt and acted the same way that I did, such behavior would have large and likely irreparable effects on our climate and other environmental necessities.

Fear is also a great motivator in inflicting damage on others and thus on ourselves. Violence is often a desperate response that yields damage to both self and others. Those whom we fear and distance ourselves from often then become targets of our direct and projected violence. Were we able to practice connection and caring rather than fear, violence might well be averted.

One last cause of stupidity is overwhelm. We are constantly bombarded with information. It is impossible not to feel overwhelmed at times. In an effort to steel ourselves against any more information overload we withdraw and choose not to pay attention. There are so many things requiring our attention that are worthwhile. How do we best choose? My guess is that those pieces of information that fully honor our values (as opposed to our opinions) are the ones that require our attention. We must be thoughtful and deliberate in our choices. Information that both honors our feelings and challenges our ideas will help increase our wisdom.

Stupidity lives in everyone. It is not just a symptom of low intelligence. In fact, it is not related to intelligence at all. We’ve all seen very intelligent people behave stupidly. It is about awareness, caring and noticing one’s impact on oneself and others. We can do all of ourselves a favor by staying open and aware of our own acts of stupidity. Western society encourages stuporous behavior. We deserve better than this. Wake up and pay attention. Notice your impact and help others to notice theirs. With awareness we can then cultivate wisdom rather than stupidity.

What situations are likely to cause you to harm yourself and others?

What is your relationship with stupidity?

Where do you become stuporous and act stupidly?

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Her latest blog post tells about a recent One Second Installation. She and her crew brought a steel hospital table and a body bag to the Surf Club one evening. At the Surf Club she offered people the opportunity to be zipped into the body bag by their friends. Although everyone was interested, nobody volunteered. So she waited. Two hours later after the crowd had some drinks at the bar people started to volunteer. There was nervous laughter as people repeatedly made sure that their friends would unzip them after a second in the bag. An hour later, fortified by even more alcohol, people were having a good time being zipped in the bag and then unzipped. Alison was afraid that the point of the exercise was being lost. This was not supposed to be a fun event. Rather it was supposed to be a wake up call about 1) what it feels like to be in a body bag 2) trusting one’s friends 3) consciously making choices.

Four hours after the start of the installation, someone went too far. He zipped his friend in the bag and refused to unzip him. The person in the bag protested but this only made the crowd laugh. The combination of alcohol and laughter only strengthened the friend’s decision to keep the bag zipped. Suddenly, this was no longer a humorous event. The person in the body bag was truly panicked. Finally the friend relented. The person in the bag emerged saying, “You can’t screw with people’s lives like that – It’s not f***ing funny!”

So often we make spur of the moment, unthinking decisions that cause other people pain or fear or some amount of suffering. We don’t need to have alcohol to dull our awareness although alcohol certainly will do so. When our awareness is absent so are our senses of efficacy and power diminished. We treat ourselves as so much less than we truly are. However, if each of us were to just spend one second consciously considering our impact in the moment imagine what could change. Perhaps a friend would refuse to allow another friend who is intoxicated to drive. Perhaps, instead of taking a paper bag at the store, you brought your cloth bag to transport your groceries. Perhaps upon hearing some negative gossip, you chose not to pass it on. Maybe just because you are satisfied with your health coverage, you could imagine what it is like for someone who is ill and uninsured. The list of possibilities is endless. Just imagine if we all took one more second to contemplate our impact in the world at any given moment, what might be possible? What impact could our collective moments of consciousness have? It’s your choice. Wake up to this moment right now! It’s yours. Make it count in the way that you truly desire.

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My dear friend Jan whom I’ve written about in prior entries here and here visited me this past weekend. We met during our freshman year of college and have been close friends ever since. In 1971, Jan transferred to another college for the remainder of her education. I frequently visited her there and became friends with many of her new friends. One woman in particular named Deb was especially fun to be with and very smart. I would spend time with her whenever I came to visit Jan. Although we have kept up with each others’ lives through Jan, I hadn’t seen Deb in probably thirty years. Coincidentally, Deb ended up being in town at the same time as Jan and the three of us had a reunion this past weekend.

Our time together was magical! It was as if no time had passed and yet we each had become older and wiser. It is not a given that aging will create wisdom. However, we each share values of self-discovery, honest inquiry and spirituality all of which can spark wisdom. Our values have held constant over these past three decades and have nurtured us through both our good and our hard times. It was as if we were magically transported back in time to our younger selves and yet able to call on our current wisdom to both question and validate our earlier experiences. For me, there was a quality of time travel. Although I knew that we were all here in my living room in 2009, images and feelings from 1971 combined with retroactive “aha’s” in the present.

After reminiscing about our shared past and catching each other up on the latest happenings in our lives, we spoke about what was important to us. As  I look back on our day long series of conversations, I realize that each conversation was about being in relationship. We spoke of our relationships with our partners, families, friends, colleagues and other significant people in our lives. Our feminine energy naturally focused on our relationships with others and with each other. Our conversations nurtured us, each woman mindful to take the time and space she needed to speak and give the necessary time and space to the others to add their own voices and stories. We wove our web of connection around each other gently yet with great intention for each of us believes very deeply in the power of conscious relationships to elicit joy and growth.

All three of us practice somewhat different spiritual traditions and yet we spoke a shared language that was inclusive and contained space for wonder and unity. We spoke to each other with both sides of our brains and our hearts continued to open to each other. To me this is the opportunity of reunion. We first experience an inner reunion of heart and mind which connects us to our deepest selves and then to the others with whom we have chosen to meet again. Our visit was healing despite the fact that I was not specifically in need of a healing. The visit was enlivening and inspiring mirroring the co-creative spirit we each brought to our connection. And as always, it was fun! When I remember my visits with Deb and Jan they were always filled with laughter no matter how much young adult angst we were suffering at any given moment.

Three thousand miles away in New York, it sounds like many of my high school cohort were also experiencing the joy of reconnecting and seeing the formerly young faces peeking out out of the current older versions of their friends and acquaintances. Classmates who knew each other well 40 years ago hugged each other with gusto. Classmates who previously were shy were embraced in warm welcome. Given all the happy and heartfelt reports on facebook in the past couple of days, it seems as if there’s definitely a yearning for continued relationship and connection. I will definitely attend our next gathering.

Reunions are wonderful opportunities to notice changes, celebrate accomplishments and grieve losses. Reunions can also be bittersweet not only because we can be disappointed by others (or ourselves) but because they are always blatant reminders of the passage of time. However, if my experience of my reunion with Deb and Jan this weekend is any indication, you can also create a space in the present that is timeless. Granted, most high school reunions don’t allow a lot of time or space to deeply connect with others. Yet, if you are intent on creating a profound experience of reunion and connection it takes only one moment of consciousness to recognize yourself in another and another person in you.

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Samuel’s point is that given that there are so many new social technology applications online right now and that so many new ones will continue to proliferate in the future, the only successful strategy for successfully using this technology is to stop trying to keep up with each new application that is produced. If Alexandra Samuel whose field is social technology can’t keep up, what hope do regular people not involved in the field have?  So give your self a break and surrender. Keeping up is no longer a plausible response.

“So where is the opportunity here?” you might still be wondering. With a different frame of mind, you can use this glut of programs to focus on what is important to you. Rather than solely looking at the big picture of social technology such as twitter, facebook, youtube and the other software applications too numerous to mention here, focus on the smaller picture. What topics are you specifically interested in? See what software your own communities are using. For example, I spend a certain amount of time each day on facebook checking out what my community of professional coaches is doing. I respond where appropriate and I offer information that I think will be helpful to my friends and colleagues on facebook. I also focus on specific videos from youtube and vimeo.com that relate to whatever topic I am blogging about. While it might be fun to hang out on youtube and watch a number of fun videos, I don’t have the time nor is it ultimately productive for me. I am focused in my visit to the site and thus make the site beneficial to my needs.

Barry Schwartz, Ph.D. author of “The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less” was quoted in the June, 2004 APA Monitor as saying, “The presumption is, self-determination is a good thing and choice is essential to self-determination. But there’s a point where all of this choice starts to be not only unproductive, but counterproductive–a source of pain, regret, worry about missed opportunities and unrealistically high expectations.” So rather than suffering with a glut of technological applications that neither suit my or my communities’ needs, I take the opportunity to narrow my choices based upon my priorities and my values.

How do you respond to a glut of opportunities?

What works for you in the face of overwhelm and too much?

When have you stopped an entrenched behavior regarding getting more of something and what was the impact of stopping on you and those around you?

Too many opportunities may be just the trigger we need to apply some self-care and additional focus on our own true needs. Take the opportunity to stop and to focus. Less can actually be more.

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Watching this video made me wonder about the question, “Out of all the opportunities that we could have chosen for our current day experience what guided our choices so that we ended up here?” If we could have foreseen where we would end up would we make those same choices again? What can our present teach us about rectifying things in the future? There are many opportunities. Our present is only one of an infinite number of choices.

What choices did you make that took you to your present?
What choices can make now that will lead you to a better future?
What is the opportunity that each choice presents?

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