The Opportunity Game

‘the perilous journey …’ from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

THIS FILM IS BEST EXPERIENCED …

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THESE FILMS ARE BEST EXPERIENCED WITHOUT THE DISTRACTION OF THE MODERN WORLD

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They concern the ability to see. And to pay full attention. A challenge in a fast paced world.

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WARNING : DO NOT ATTEMPT TO VIEW IF ANYTHING ELSE IS GOING ON

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1. LOWER THE LIGHTS.

2. SWITCH THE OFF THE WORLD. HEADPHONES ON. IF ALONE.

3. PLAY FULL SCREEN. Read the rest of this entry »

A Thousand Words from Ted Chung on Vimeo.

Each time that I watch this video, I feel my deep ambivalence about making intimate connections with strangers. Intellectually, it feels like a wonderful idea. However, when I’m walking outside and someone I don’t know nears me, it takes all of my courage to look them directly in the eye and smile at them. My fear of rejection is so great that I don’t want to risk even a moment of rejection for the possibility of connection. And yet I do. Most times, the other people happily return my smile. They have no idea how much I felt I just risked in offering a simple smile.

And what is a “simple smile”? It turns out that there are several different types of smiles. A “Duchenne smile” (named after the French doctor Guillaume Duchenne who studied facial expressions) is considered to be an authentic smile as it involves the contractions of both the voluntary muscles around the mouth and the involuntary muscles on the sides of our eyes. This signals a rush of genuine spontaneous positive feeling on the part of the person smiling.  A “non Duchenne smile” involves only the voluntary contraction of our mouth muscles and thus can be perceived to be a more superficial or manipulative expression. Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently, anger is such a powerful opportunity that I have been having trouble writing about it this week. I started this post on Monday night and here it is already Wednesday night. It has never taken me this long to write about any subject before anger came on the scene. All right, I admit it. Anger scares me. To me anger means the threat of violence and physical or emotional harm and even worse, abandonment. Although I’m much better at dealing with my own and others’ anger now that I am an adult, I still don’t feel totally comfortable with it.

Despite the fact that anger is a perfectly healthy and often a necessary response, my own anger has often eluded me. For years, I imagined that I never got angry. I was easy-going and easy to please. While that was an accurate description of me, it was not the entire truth. I have spent my whole life being conflict adverse. If I thought that my anger would cause a conflict, I immediately did what I could to ameliorate the situation, most times putting my own needs on hold. Not paying attention to what I needed in the moment was far superior than risking a conflict where I imagined I would lose the argument, be physically overpowered or left because I didn’t agree with the others. Consequently, my own anger always served as a cue to cow myself rather than to protect me. Read the rest of this entry »

On Monday, June 1st, I celebrated my 58th birthday. While not a major milestone birthday, it was a significant birthday for me because I celebrated it in the city in which I arrived in the world, New York City. I woke up in Rochester, NY and spent my birthday breakfast with my friend Jan who as I mentioned in a previous blog post is recovering from open heart surgery and who has been my friend for 40 years. When you get to be 58, it is possible to have friends for 40 years or even 50 plus years, if you are lucky. I’m blessed to have several friends whom I’ve known 40 years and longer, and they all have been very good friends to me over the years.

As one of her birthday gifts to me, Jan asked me to pick a Rune card for myself from her deck of cards. In my typical punning way, I heard Rune as “Ruin” and wondered what would be my ruin in this my 58th year. For someone who is in many ways as optimistic as I am, I still confess to having deep roots in the world of pessimism. When I am caught in either optimism or pessimism and can’t see the other side, I don’t think that either one is completely helpful to me. However, when I am able to hold both perspectives as powerful possibilities at the same time, there is a knowing that serves me. Since I have often dubbed myself, “The Queen of Paradox, Or Not…”, it does seem fitting that I would incorrectly associate ruin with rune. Read the rest of this entry »

Despite some resistance from the authorities, Phil has continued to hold his sign high for Let’s Chat. Here’s a video update on his activities.

Congratulations, Phil! You’re doing a great job continuing to create new opportunities for people to interact in Kuala Lumpur. Who knows what the impact will be? At the very least there have been cultural exchanges between you and people from other countries. Perhaps in the future, more Malaysians will engage in Let’s Chat activities. And it seems like you are making new friends. Thanks for playing The Opportunity Game in your own inimitable way!