If you believe in the power of prayer (and I do!) this is not new news. What is a new notion for many people is that you don’t have to be doing anything to call forth transformation in yourself or in others. Here is a section of an email that I sent earlier today to my colleagues in support of Helen and the leadership and global transformation that we each espouse.

You are in bed, unconscious to consensus reality and yet you are a beacon of prayer and healing. You have called forth a deep heartfelt response not only from those whom you love and those who love you but from unknown sources throughout the globe. When we all graduated from the Co-Active Leadership Program so many years ago we all agreed to be Co-Active Leaders 24/7. Look at what you have called forth from your physically compromised and oxygen deprived self! Imagine what will be possible when you recover and are operating yet again in your fully embodied, generously open-hearted, wildly artistic and inimitable self!

This is what 24/7 Co-Active Leadership is all about. Whether we are in the world vertically or horizontally, conscious or unconscious, fully oxygenated or gasping for breath our very beings constantly and continually call forth the best in each other. If the goal of last week’s Co-Active Summit was Transformation, then Helen, you are leading one right now in our community and beyond. Imagine what we all can accomplish if we focus our healing and Co-Active energy on the rest of the world that is metaphorically and otherwise in their own versions of ICUs gasping for oxygen. Mother Earth immediately comes to mind, poverty, hunger, illiteracy, etc., etc. What we are all doing right now: intending, focusing, taking action for and from our highest purpose is true transformation. Bless us all for making our word real. Bless you Helen for calling us forth. Bless your Soul for being willing to take the extra step and bear this bodily illness so that we all can benefit.

Imagine leadership as a quality of being. Who you are being arousing the best in others. There is nothing you need to do other than live your life in the most loving, generous, passionate and responsible manner. What if that is enough to create a shift in those whom you connect with as you go through your day? What if your loving being is enough to awaken a sense of strength and purpose in another human being? If Helen can call forth such an outpouring of love and healing when she is physically unconscious, imagine what you can call forth from a conscious state. The path of leadership is clear. It starts from the heart and it ends up right back there.

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What was true when I started my coaching session this morning was that I didn’t feel inspired to write. I felt that I should write. When I started this blog over two years ago, I had much to say and a clear message to communicate. Opportunity is available everywhere, all the time if only we stay awake to and aware of the possibilities. I was inspired by my ability to transform hard times into opportunities that not only benefited me but others as well. That, of course, was one of the major reasons for starting this blog in the first place. I am committed to coaching people to realize all the opportunities that are present when they choose to pursue learning from all of their experiences.

However, during my writing hiatus, this message became old and boring for me. Besides the fact that I was actually living The Opportunity Game lifestyle in that I spent the last three months of 2009 and the first 8 months of 2010 either in the hospital or recovering from surgery and other health problems, I didn’t have any extra energy to talk about playing The Opportunity Game. In other words, I was spending every day for almost a year looking for the learning from my illness. Once I found it, then I became committed to a complete change in my eating habits and in believing that I could and can achieve a total cure for my digestive problems and finally achieve good health for the first time in over a decade.

While I’ve been successful in regaining good health, until this morning I was not successful in inspiring myself to write. Coincidentally, what led to my improved health was finally listening to my body and my intuition just as listening to my heart and my intuition about writing has led to my being able to express myself once again.

Sometimes the most simple and obvious actions elude us precisely because they are so simple. Admitting out loud both to my coach and myself that I didn’t feel inspired to write anything, opened to the door to an influx of new energy. By the end of our session, I wanted to share the good news that surrendering to what is true for you can be very healing and can inspire action as you can see from this very blog post. While this is not a new experience or learning for me, it was good to remember that surrender can be the most important first step that I can take on the path to creating what I want.

So the next time you don’t feel inspired to do something, own that experience. See what learning your feelings have for you. You might just be pleasantly surprised that saying “yes” to your feeling of “no” is exactly what you need to feel good and then be motivated to take action.

What haven’t you given yourself permission to say “No!” to?

How can saying “No!” actually benefit you right now?

Notice what happens physically, emotionally and spiritually when you speak your truth.

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Nerenberg is interested in the study of stupidity and its causes so that we may choose another route and pursue wisdom instead. For all the studies on intelligence and wisdom, according to Nerenberg the study of stupidity is quite paltry in comparison. Is stupidity so stupefying that even the best minds find it beyond their capability to study? Or are we so arrogant as to consider human stupidity unworthy of our serious study? Either way, we have proven over the millennia that human stupidity is recurrent and seemingly boundless. It is neither a laughing matter nor is “Stupid!” merely an epithet to hurl at someone with whom we disagree. I’m sure that each one of us can admirably demonstrate stupidity in our own lives.

In the 1970′s Carlo M. Cipolla circulated an essay, The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity. In 1987, The Whole Earth Review republished the essay with pictures and titled it The Fundamental Laws of Human Stupidity. Due to copyright rules I cannot reproduce this article but it is easily located via google and the specific laws are listed in the wikipedia link that I have provided for Dr. Cipolla. That said, Cipolla’s definition of a stupid person is of interest. “A person is stupid if they cause damage to another person or group of people without experiencing personal gain, or even worse causing damage to themselves in the process.” Why are we consistently willing to do damage to ourselves and others?

Although I don’t think that I have THE answer, I do have one possible answer. It is a matter of lack of awareness and fear. So many times I have done stupid things by not paying attention. For example, by forgetting to a pay a bill on time, I have had to pay an extra fee to compensate for my tardiness. Not only have I made the person who provided me a service wait for their reimbursement, I have unnecessarily paid extra. This is a small example of stupidity. A much larger example of stupidity is that for a long time I was in denial about our environment. I drove unnecessarily and didn’t think much about sustainability. I told myself that the impact of my actions was minuscule and couldn’t possibly make a difference. However, I recently realized that if large numbers of people felt and acted the same way that I did, such behavior would have large and likely irreparable effects on our climate and other environmental necessities.

Fear is also a great motivator in inflicting damage on others and thus on ourselves. Violence is often a desperate response that yields damage to both self and others. Those whom we fear and distance ourselves from often then become targets of our direct and projected violence. Were we able to practice connection and caring rather than fear, violence might well be averted.

One last cause of stupidity is overwhelm. We are constantly bombarded with information. It is impossible not to feel overwhelmed at times. In an effort to steel ourselves against any more information overload we withdraw and choose not to pay attention. There are so many things requiring our attention that are worthwhile. How do we best choose? My guess is that those pieces of information that fully honor our values (as opposed to our opinions) are the ones that require our attention. We must be thoughtful and deliberate in our choices. Information that both honors our feelings and challenges our ideas will help increase our wisdom.

Stupidity lives in everyone. It is not just a symptom of low intelligence. In fact, it is not related to intelligence at all. We’ve all seen very intelligent people behave stupidly. It is about awareness, caring and noticing one’s impact on oneself and others. We can do all of ourselves a favor by staying open and aware of our own acts of stupidity. Western society encourages stuporous behavior. We deserve better than this. Wake up and pay attention. Notice your impact and help others to notice theirs. With awareness we can then cultivate wisdom rather than stupidity.

What situations are likely to cause you to harm yourself and others?

What is your relationship with stupidity?

Where do you become stuporous and act stupidly?

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Her latest blog post tells about a recent One Second Installation. She and her crew brought a steel hospital table and a body bag to the Surf Club one evening. At the Surf Club she offered people the opportunity to be zipped into the body bag by their friends. Although everyone was interested, nobody volunteered. So she waited. Two hours later after the crowd had some drinks at the bar people started to volunteer. There was nervous laughter as people repeatedly made sure that their friends would unzip them after a second in the bag. An hour later, fortified by even more alcohol, people were having a good time being zipped in the bag and then unzipped. Alison was afraid that the point of the exercise was being lost. This was not supposed to be a fun event. Rather it was supposed to be a wake up call about 1) what it feels like to be in a body bag 2) trusting one’s friends 3) consciously making choices.

Four hours after the start of the installation, someone went too far. He zipped his friend in the bag and refused to unzip him. The person in the bag protested but this only made the crowd laugh. The combination of alcohol and laughter only strengthened the friend’s decision to keep the bag zipped. Suddenly, this was no longer a humorous event. The person in the body bag was truly panicked. Finally the friend relented. The person in the bag emerged saying, “You can’t screw with people’s lives like that – It’s not f***ing funny!”

So often we make spur of the moment, unthinking decisions that cause other people pain or fear or some amount of suffering. We don’t need to have alcohol to dull our awareness although alcohol certainly will do so. When our awareness is absent so are our senses of efficacy and power diminished. We treat ourselves as so much less than we truly are. However, if each of us were to just spend one second consciously considering our impact in the moment imagine what could change. Perhaps a friend would refuse to allow another friend who is intoxicated to drive. Perhaps, instead of taking a paper bag at the store, you brought your cloth bag to transport your groceries. Perhaps upon hearing some negative gossip, you chose not to pass it on. Maybe just because you are satisfied with your health coverage, you could imagine what it is like for someone who is ill and uninsured. The list of possibilities is endless. Just imagine if we all took one more second to contemplate our impact in the world at any given moment, what might be possible? What impact could our collective moments of consciousness have? It’s your choice. Wake up to this moment right now! It’s yours. Make it count in the way that you truly desire.

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My dear friend Jan whom I’ve written about in prior entries here and here visited me this past weekend. We met during our freshman year of college and have been close friends ever since. In 1971, Jan transferred to another college for the remainder of her education. I frequently visited her there and became friends with many of her new friends. One woman in particular named Deb was especially fun to be with and very smart. I would spend time with her whenever I came to visit Jan. Although we have kept up with each others’ lives through Jan, I hadn’t seen Deb in probably thirty years. Coincidentally, Deb ended up being in town at the same time as Jan and the three of us had a reunion this past weekend.

Our time together was magical! It was as if no time had passed and yet we each had become older and wiser. It is not a given that aging will create wisdom. However, we each share values of self-discovery, honest inquiry and spirituality all of which can spark wisdom. Our values have held constant over these past three decades and have nurtured us through both our good and our hard times. It was as if we were magically transported back in time to our younger selves and yet able to call on our current wisdom to both question and validate our earlier experiences. For me, there was a quality of time travel. Although I knew that we were all here in my living room in 2009, images and feelings from 1971 combined with retroactive “aha’s” in the present.

After reminiscing about our shared past and catching each other up on the latest happenings in our lives, we spoke about what was important to us. As  I look back on our day long series of conversations, I realize that each conversation was about being in relationship. We spoke of our relationships with our partners, families, friends, colleagues and other significant people in our lives. Our feminine energy naturally focused on our relationships with others and with each other. Our conversations nurtured us, each woman mindful to take the time and space she needed to speak and give the necessary time and space to the others to add their own voices and stories. We wove our web of connection around each other gently yet with great intention for each of us believes very deeply in the power of conscious relationships to elicit joy and growth.

All three of us practice somewhat different spiritual traditions and yet we spoke a shared language that was inclusive and contained space for wonder and unity. We spoke to each other with both sides of our brains and our hearts continued to open to each other. To me this is the opportunity of reunion. We first experience an inner reunion of heart and mind which connects us to our deepest selves and then to the others with whom we have chosen to meet again. Our visit was healing despite the fact that I was not specifically in need of a healing. The visit was enlivening and inspiring mirroring the co-creative spirit we each brought to our connection. And as always, it was fun! When I remember my visits with Deb and Jan they were always filled with laughter no matter how much young adult angst we were suffering at any given moment.

Three thousand miles away in New York, it sounds like many of my high school cohort were also experiencing the joy of reconnecting and seeing the formerly young faces peeking out out of the current older versions of their friends and acquaintances. Classmates who knew each other well 40 years ago hugged each other with gusto. Classmates who previously were shy were embraced in warm welcome. Given all the happy and heartfelt reports on facebook in the past couple of days, it seems as if there’s definitely a yearning for continued relationship and connection. I will definitely attend our next gathering.

Reunions are wonderful opportunities to notice changes, celebrate accomplishments and grieve losses. Reunions can also be bittersweet not only because we can be disappointed by others (or ourselves) but because they are always blatant reminders of the passage of time. However, if my experience of my reunion with Deb and Jan this weekend is any indication, you can also create a space in the present that is timeless. Granted, most high school reunions don’t allow a lot of time or space to deeply connect with others. Yet, if you are intent on creating a profound experience of reunion and connection it takes only one moment of consciousness to recognize yourself in another and another person in you.

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