The Opportunity to Go Beyond Bigotry

It has been over twenty-four hours since the California State Supreme Court refused to rule the egregiously homophobic Proposition 8 unconstitutional. I’m still in shock that the court found it legal to take away the rights of a group of American citizens. While I am sure that history will prove this decision to be the last gasp of a dying bigoted agenda, it saddens me that the court deemed this proposition worthy of any respect at all.

I find it ludicrous that supporters of Proposition 8 find that the marriage of two lesbians or gay men undermines the institution of marriage. How can the marriage of two men or two women possibly undermine another marriage that is healthy? It seems to me that supporters of Proposition 8 view marriage as a special club. It is only open to a couple composed of one man and one woman. Any other combination must be excluded. If one is to use marriage as a weapon of exclusion, I think that love should be the exclusionary determinant. If you do not love one another, you definitely should be persuaded not to marry. As long as love, respect and honoring of each partner is present, why is it necessary to forbid people to marry?

As a Jewish woman, I am well aware of the power of the state to forbid my people our civil rights. Nazi Germany, calling on racial fears and hatreds persuaded the majority of German citizens that it was appropriate to strip Jews of their civil and human rights. Suffering under the humiliation of losing the first World War and enduring the great economic hardships that ensued, the German people needed both a scapegoat and a group of people whom they could treat as “less than”. Ultimately, they thought the Jews were vermin and completely treated them as less than human. I can’t help but wonder in what ways the proponents of Proposition 8 feel “less than” themselves.

Perhaps it is not a feeling of less than that afflicts them. Perhaps it is a fear of questioning authority. Most of these people have been taught by their religious leaders that homosexuality is a sin. It takes courage to stand up to an authority whom you trust. It also takes the willingness to think differently and entertain new ideas. Just because someone has done something one way for several generations doesn’t mean that it is the only way, the just way or the right way.

As I write today’s blog entry, I realize that I am just as close-minded as the people who voted for Proposition 8. I can’t conceive of a good reason for prohibiting gay marriage. This is an opportunity for me to go beyond my own limitation and truly try to understand someone who feels that gay marriage is unsupportable. Even more importantly, it is an opportunity for me and you, dear reader, to learn how to handle seemingly insurmountable conflicts.

If you are a Proposition 8 supporter, I have some serious questions for you and I to consider together. Where do we share common ground? What can we agree upon so that we can come to not only a meeting of the minds but a connection of hearts as well? I’m hoping that if that we can truly come to love each other and respect one another’s opinions in this matter, it is possible that other issues may become more easily resolved. This is an opportunity for all of us to learn how to resolve conflicts involving our most deeply held and cherished beliefs.

I am not a quoter of the Bible but Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians, often read at Christian weddings is a wonderful guide for any marriage and seems the appropriate way to end this post.

Love

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)

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This entry was written by Judith Cohen, MCC, CPCC and posted on May 27, 2009 at 2:59 pm and filed under Civil & Political Rights. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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