The Opportunity Game

You would think that conversation would be a normal human activity in which to engage. However, blatantly inviting conversation among strangers or “chatting” as my friend, Phil Durnford calls it, is a not only unusual, it’s frowned upon by officials in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Phil who defines himself as a “Joyist” and thus “the antithesis of a terrorist” initiated his “Let’s Chat” campaign in Calgary, Canada last year in attempt to discover what was available from talking to people in the public square. Although Phil appears to be totally normal, he is an elf in disguise bringing magic with him wherever he goes.

Phil has since moved with his family to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Unlike, Calgary, Kuala Lumpur is not an easy place to have a public chat. Phil was told that he would be threatened with arrest if he brought his “Let’s Chat” sign into a public space. Undaunted, yesterday Phil stood with his “Let’s Chat” sign near the Pavillions Mall. Sadly, in the neighborhood that Phil was chatting, there was not one inch of sidewalk that was owned by the public. Retail establishments owned the entire district. 

How has something so ordinary, conversation, been made so scarce? What are we afraid of? While many of us are busy chatting with strangers online, I’m not so sure that our individual behavior offline is all that much different than the management of the retail stores we frequent. How often do you strike up a conversation with a stranger in your physical proximity? The more digitized and technologically advanced we become, the more isolated we each seem to be in physical life. Plugged into our iPods and iPhones, alone in our cars or glued to our computer screens we frequently lose touch with that which is most physically close to us. 

I flew to Rochester, NY the other day and took the subway to JFK airport. While waiting for the A train in Manhattan, I was approached by a woman named Marcia from Mexico who was attempting to get to JFK to pick up her lost luggage. She wasn’t sure about how to get to JFK. Although I wasn’t an expert myself, I offered to guide her. As it turned out, I initially put us on the wrong A train. We changed to the correct one and then traveled together all the way to JFK. Once we arrived at the Air Train Station at JFK we had to buy another ticket. The lines were a bit long and the machine I was standing at wasn’t working. While I was trying to get my machine to take my $5 bill, Marcia had already purchased a ticket for me. Here we were, two strangers just twenty minutes ago, now we were two friends linked by trust and caring for one another’s welfare. It reminded me that kindness and caring for one another go a long way in sewing our social fabric together. 

It used to be very ordinary to take a walk and talk with people in the town square. It used to be very ordinary to chat with people whom we did not know. Think about the last time that you spoke with a stranger. What transpired between the two of you? Did you just exchange information or did you actually spend a few minutes really connecting with the other person? What is the opportunity for you in meeting with a stranger and sharing a bit of yourselves with one another? How can curiosity improve your day and that of a stranger’s?

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